My coronation remains elusive, yet inevitable. So I figured I’d lay out a few ground rules for my upcoming reign. In the Age of Mellowcat there will be a whole bunch of things that you can and cannot (mostly cannot) do, so you might as well get in the habit now. First off; you there – the fellow who rides up and down the street on the go-ped gas powered scooter. Might as well put that thing on Craigslist now, because the price will likely go down once they are forever banned. The wise and benevolent Mellowcat will collect these vehicles and melt them down for medallion production. Guess who will be featured on the medallion. Right!
Mr. Neighbor, I know that it’s 5 o’clock on a Sunday afternoon, and that’s just the perfect opportunity to fire up the chain saw, but this will not be permitted in the time of Mellowcat the Mellow. So you’ll have to find another time for your wood chopping, or whatever the hell you’re doing over there.
Hey, lucky driver. You happen to be tailgating the future King Mellowcat. This will be something to tell your descendants, when they ask why you’re not permitted to drive within the kingdom.
So sayeth the king.